From the good old public docket:
"Police responded to a domestic disturbance Sunday in town after a male found his girlfriend's sex toy, thus violating a mutual agreement in which they each were supposed to get rid of their respective sex toys.
A decorative bowling ball was purloined from a yard Friday on Edgewood Drive."
The best part? The whole town was just in a major uproar because they almost had to lay off 13 police officers. I think the city could save a lot of money if people wouldn't call 911 every time a house is TP'd, or a Nigerian Prince solicits them via email (recurring items from the docket).