how can i help?

I hardly ever get these emails - but they totally crack me up!

From my email:
*********
With warm heart, I offer my friendship and regards.

My Name is Mrs. Lawrencia Tete, wife of Late Hon. Frances Tete, C.E.O, GOLD and DIAMOND merchant from Republic of Congo, who died in the result of rebel attack in my country. And left me with two children behind (Julian and Jenifer) May his soul rest in perfect peace, Amen...

After my husband's death, this was declared/made known to me by our family advocate with the agreement /deposit documents of (Eight Million Dollars), which was deposited by my late husband in Finance Security Company in Accra Ghana for foreign Business investment, for safe keeping before his sudden death, now I have to move with my two children out of my country to Accra Ghana for the sake of our l ife's.

I am contacting you to help me claim the fund in your country account ,issue me invitation to come over to your country and invest this fund in your country for the sake of (Julian and Jenifer) future to further there education, before the death of my late husband he left a standing order with the Finance management and our family advocate that they should not release the fund to anyone accept a foreign trustee because of the political instability and the result of war in my country Congo, I decided to reach you directly to solicit your assistance and help as my foreign beneficiary for the Security Company to release the fund to us for the sake of my children,

Please keep this transaction confidential, for the safety of my life and children/security of the fund.

Thanks and remain bless as I wait your response soon. do include your direct contact so I can reach you.

Yours truly

Mrs. Lawrencia Tete
***********

Poor (Julian and Jenifer).

The spambot in the webcafe couldn't even be bothered to remove the parenthesis, what an amateur.