this is news

I am thoroughly addicted to our public docket. There were some doozies yesterday, but I just wasn't able to post them (I know you are all so disappointed).

From today's docket:
Items were missing Sunday from 909 Broad Ave. - Really? Items??? As opposed to any other time something is missing?

A North Main Street woman was jailed for domestic violence Monday after scratching her husband, stemming from a dispute after she packed away their Christmas tree. The male maintained that putting away a Christmas tree prior to New Year's is bad luck.

total disaster

I have really been craving no-bakes.I figured I could make them and feed G his dinner at the same time. I overestimated my capabilities.

I lovingly stirred the pot in between spoonfuls of pumpkin puree and sweet potato puffs, and then I decided to call my mom (because I am such an awesome multitask-er). When it was time to add the oatmeal I figured everything was cool, these would be the best-damn-no-bakes-ever, and my craving would be squashed. But, I grabbed the wrong container of oatmeal. Crap!

I spooned out a few cookies - they tasted like little raw fiber bombs. I decided I could just cook the oatmeal by adding water and putting the pot back on the stove (by this time G is going crazy with the pumpkin, everything is orange). I cooked the oatmeal, but I also wrecked the cookies.

Would anyone like a spoonful of chocolate oatmeal?

should have seen it coming

In my bedroom I had a cute little glass container filled with sand and a seashell from our honeymoon. Notice I used past tense in that sentence?

This morning G dumped it into a basket of clean clothes.

Why didn't I see this coming? I guess he at least dumped it into the clothes instead of it breaking into a million dangerous pieces on the ground.

Here's to more laundry today *cheers*

mary x-mas

So...I'm beginning to think Christmas cards are just not going to happen this year. I guess I'll just have a jump start on my cards for next year :)

Consider this your very own card, print it out if you'd like.

Mary X-mas from our White Trash-ified Family!

Love,
Alanna Rose, J and G

PS - I know how "merry" is spelled ;)

holy crap!

The other day G was a bit of a monster, and he needed his binkie. I should have put two and two together, but I didn't.

We now have 5 teeth, two on the bottom and three on the top.

just plain dumb

Everyone loves to comment on the baby, and since he is usually bright-eyed and clean - I don't get much "helpful advice." What I get are dumb questions.

Just one example:
Cashier: "How old is he?"
Best Mom Ever: "Nine months. And he's a genius."
C: (ignores genius remark)"Will this be his first Christmas?"
BME: "Something like that... (voice trails off)"

noooooo

G hit the nine month mark last week, and he immidiately got busy getting into trouble.

The most commonly heard word in our house is "no." I know, I've read the same books you have. I am sorry, but that is the word that comes out of my mouth when he:

* breaks my brand-new not-cheap fireplace screen.
* tries to chew on the cord for the computer, tv, Christmas tree...
* climbs into the bathtub by himself.
* climbs out of his high chair and sits on the tray. (totally thought that would be a safe place to trap him for the 63 sec I need to get the mail)
* sits in the warming drawer on the oven.
* eats through the bite guard on his crib.
* gnaws on the water turn-off under the toilet.

Sounds like he hangs out by himself all day, huh? Nope, I'm on him 24-7 and he still manages to get into everything. I think he needs a kennel. Don't worry I would totally pad it and give him some toys ;)

no more wisdom

The wisdom teeth are gone.

I was in and out in 45 min, and it didn't hurt at all. I did gag on my blood, which was not fun. But I'm still feeling good - probably because I am completely, drooling on myself, numb.

Before I left they asked if I wanted my teeth. I found that both hilarious and horrifying. I assured them (through my gauze-filled mouth) that I did not require my teeth. The tooth fairy doesn't know where I live.

Now I have to figure out how to take the horse pill painkillers with a numb mouth...hmmm.....

on friday

My wisdom teeth are coming out on Fri.

Guess how excited I am? Go ahead, guess.

Unfortunately I will not be sedated. G is still a boob-boy so that means no good drugs for me :( Even though they will prescribe percose1t to women who've just given birth, I'm afraid to take it. I will take 800mg motrin though, hopefully that will be enough.

The best part is my mom is coming down tomorrow to help with G on Fri and Sat. I love my mom <3 (FYI - that's not a heart...it's a carrot and a butt)